You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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