My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
