He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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