wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
