Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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