So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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