It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize