i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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