Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
