after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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