found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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