Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
