Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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