So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
