she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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