Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
