none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
