I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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