I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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