just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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