Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.