Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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