Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.