you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
