I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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