I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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