maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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