heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
