Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
