He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
