If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
