is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
