Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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