Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
