I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
