the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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