What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
