Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
