Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
