if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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