I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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