i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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