I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
