He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
