whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
porn star boner night. come get it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
