You smell like stripper and shame
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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