Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
