dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I could make wine with my vomit
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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