So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
