She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
NoShamevember. You game?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
