I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
