i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
