I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
