I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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