My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm really into asian looking animals
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
