you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I party with great urgency now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
