She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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