Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
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You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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