the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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