So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
why is half of my head shaved?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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