I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I will be naked everywhere
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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