do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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