just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
